Mary, Lady Chudleigh's poem, "To the Ladies" strongly
argues that a woman should not give herself up to marriage, for when she does, the
individual she was will cease to be: she will belong to her husband, subject to his
every pleasure, displeasure or whim.
She begins her poem by
stating—with direct purpose—"Wife and servant are the same." It takes little imagination
to guess the direction for the rest of the poem. Freedom disappears behind matrimonial
promises to "obey." The last two lines of the poem press the author's point home again,
warning women that they must protect themselves and "despise" men if they are wise and
wish to hold on to the essence of who they are without a
husband.
Value
your selves, and Men despise,
You must be proud, if you'll be
wise.
In Christina Rossetti's
poem, "No, Thank You, John," it seems that the speaker is able to
follow the advice put forth in "To the Ladies."
The speaker
makes no apologies to the ardent and persistent John. She states that she does not love
him and has never told him that she did. She insists that there is nothing between them,
though allows that other women might welcome his
attentions.
The speaker seems to answer his accusation of
being heartless, but she does so without apology, stating that he is crazy to ask for a
love she does not feel for him.
I have no heart?--Perhaps I have
not;
But then you're mad to take
offence
That I don't give you what I have not
got...
The speaker
desperately tries to reason with John, offering a hand of friendship, but she refuses to
back down or be intimidated by his tenacity. She asks that they stop arguing or
"playing games," and flatly refuses his offer of
love.
In open
treaty. Rise aboveQuibbles and shuffling off and
on:Here's friendship for you if you like; but
love,--No, thank you,
John.
The speaker in
Rossetti's poem does, indeed, seem to be able to follow the advice given by Mary, Lady
Chudleigh.
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