You will find sentiments to that effect in both "The
American Scholar" and "Self Reliance."
The following
excerpt from "Self Reliance" discusses the need to be true to oneself, not one's
family. You might also want to consider reading Thoreau's "Walking," which calls for
going out into the world with no obligations to the present or the past for the purpose
of exploration and transcending. It's a lovely essay.
"Why
should we assume the faults of our friend, or wife, or father, or child, because they
sit around our hearth, or are said to have the same blood? All men have my blood, and I
have all men's. Not for that will I adopt their petulance or folly, even to the extent
of being ashamed of it. But your isolation must not be mechanical, but spiritual, that
is, must be elevation. At times the whole world seems to be in conspiracy to importune
you with emphatic trifles. Friend, client, child, sickness, fear, want, charity, all
knock at once at thy closet door, and say, — 'Come out unto us.' But keep thy state;
come not into their confusion. The power men possess to annoy me, I give them by a weak
curiosity. No man can come near me but through my act. "What we love that we have, but
by desire we bereave ourselves of the love."
. . . . Live
no longer to the expectation of these deceived and deceiving people with whom we
converse. Say to them, O father, O mother, O wife, O brother, O friend, I have lived
with you after appearances hitherto. Henceforward I am the truth's. Be it known unto you
that henceforward I obey no law less than the eternal law. I will have no covenants but
proximities. I shall endeavour to nourish my parents, to support my family, to be the
chaste husband of one wife, — but these relations I must fill after a new and
unprecedented way. I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself
any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier.
If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes
or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before
the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I
will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical
attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your
companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly, but humbly and truly. It is
alike your interest, and mine, and all men's, however long we have dwelt in lies, to
live in truth. Does this sound harsh to-day? You will soon love what is dictated by your
nature as well as mine, and, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last.
— But so you may give these friends pain. Yes, but I cannot sell my liberty and my
power, to save their sensibility. Besides, all persons have their moments of reason,
when they look out into the region of absolute truth; then will they justify me, and do
the same thing."
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